10 Reasons Your Door Dasher Hates You

TL,DR: It’s probably because you didn’t tip.

Hayleigh is lying. I have never smiled this hard while dashing.

I’m a bit of a masochist so one of my side-hustles is gig work (Doordash, Instacart, Uber, Lyft etc.). The gig economy has its flaws, but it appeals to me because of the independence and flexibility. I signed up for Postmates right out of college once I realized that I was lied to about getting a job that would magically pay off my student loans. (Short version of the story: The internship I was working for my senior year offered me $7.50/hour and 20 hours a week days before I received my bachelor’s degree. I was escorted out by security.)

Now that I’ve given my student loans to God, I gig work at my leisure to supplement my full time income and keep my Amazon cart full. I’m very blessed to do so, as I know that there are many full time gig workers. I was once one myself.

I DoorDash most often. It seems to be the most popular in my city and its the best app, which isn’t saying much because it always crashes on busier nights. I feel an obligation to explain how the process works because from the way you all (the customers) are acting, you can’t possibly understand.

First, its important to understand, DoorDashers are independent contractors. We don’t work for DoorDash. We are under a contract with DoorDash. A dissatisfied customer once asked to speak to my manager (it was her fault). I laughed and went on to the next order. There are however, certain circumstances that Dashers can be deactivated. More on that later. Dashers set their own hours and have the choice to accept or deny orders. Your Dasher’s goal is to complete as many orders in as little time as possible. You and your Dasher are not in a relationship, it’s a one night stand.

This pandemic has made customers more insufferable than usual so I’m finally posting this list. I’ve been sitting on it for a year, because I didn’t use any energy presenting it in a nice way, but this week was especially frustrating so I’m OK with coming off a little spicy. It’s (kind of) in ascending order. 10 is the most important.

1. Hospitals/Dorms/Hotels: Meet us outside/in the lobby, or let the front desk know someone is dropping off food for you. We don’t have access to get into your dorm (didn’t you have to use a keycard or something to get in yourself?). Finding your hotel room takes too long and these days you can’t just waltz into a hospital, nor does anyone want to.
2. Apartments: Give us a few clues on how to get to your building and which side/floor of the building your apartment is on. Every single complex numbers apartments differently. Every. Single. One. Hints like ‘sunflower wreath on door’ really do wonders. Funny story: This customer warned me that birds had nested in the wreath on her door. I approached the door with caution because I don’t do birds unless they’re on my plate, once the coast was clear I knocked on her door. A bird flew out. I almost dropped that woman’s food everywhere. Also, and I know I’m asking too much but at least meet me on the second floor if you live on the 3rd floor or above. Jeez.
3. Porch Lights/Visible Numbers: Turn on your porch/garage lights and make the numbers on your mailbox/home visible. It’s really difficult to find your house otherwise. Hints like what kind of car is in your drive way or what color your door is really helps.
4. Pets: I know they’re a part of your family, but please put Cujo somewhere especially if you’ve trained him/her to be a guard dog. I’ve been nipped by dogs twice. I also have a severe allergy to cats, but I know Garfield can’t be told anything, so I’ll deal. The other day, someone had several chickens pecking around in their front yard. I stood there for awhile, because again, I don’t do birds. Especially flightless ones.
5. Businesses: if someone’s bringing you food to work, put the name of the business in the notes. It makes it way easier to find. Same goes for hotels. Multiple hotels are often grouped together and the addresses aren’t visible.
6. Condiments/Add-Ons: (Unless we’re ordering for you), ask the restaurant for condiments, it’s our job to deliver your food, not prepare it. Especially now, bags are sealed and we can’t open them after the restaurant gives them to us. Also, if you put them in the delivery instructions, we won’t see it until after we’ve left the restaurant.
7. Phone Calls/Texts: Do not call your delivery driver. It only adds to the time it takes to bring your order. Text them. If there is an issue, they’ll contact you. I got a phone call during a severe thunderstorm asking me if I was ‘still coming’. I did not respond kindly. The app has GPS capabilities that show where your driver is. Reference that before you send a text message. Do not call your delivery driver. On the flip side, if your delivery driver calls you, it’s either because the restaurant is out of what you want or they can’t find you. Their number will be disguised, so it’ll look like a spam call (I would also advise drivers to text instead of call, but that’s a separate convo for another day).
8. Ratings: Customers can rate Dashers and restaurants on a scale from 1–5 stars. If a Dasher’s average rating falls below a 4.2, they can be deactivated. They can also be deactivated if their completion rate falls below 80%. Lots of customer frustration falls on the restaurant. As I said before, it’s the Dasher’s job to deliver your food, not prepare it. We can’t dig around in your bag to make sure your French Fries don’t have salt on them. More often than not, bags are sealed. If the bag has your name on it and the right drinks with it, we take it. Also, its a huge asshole move to report your food not delivered if you received it. That happens a lot with frustrated customers or those that just want a free meal. Many drivers that were not in the wrong have been deactivated by this stunt. If your Dasher bought you your food, rate them 5 stars. Rate the restaurant low if your food is wrong, report it with Door Dash and ask them for a credit.
9. Fountain Drinks and Milkshakes: They do not travel well. DoorDash does not provide us with cupholders, (they have one that we can purchase). Most cars only have 2 cupholders if any, and God forbid your Dasher may be using one of them (I’m usually using both of mine). One fountain drink is fine, 4 is unreasonable. Furthermore it is asinine to get someone to deliver milkshakes, ice cream, malts or anything frozen to you. I deny all Dairy Queen and Baskin Robbins orders. I have never delivered a milkshake that didn’t spill. At the time I’m writing this, temperatures are currently in the 90s. Ice has a melting point of 32 degrees. Frozen treats are one of those things you have to get yourself and start eating immediately. It is asinine to have someone deliver anything frozen to you period, but especially during the summer.
10. TIPS: I could have written this whole piece on tips. Receiving your food via delivery is not a cheap habit, especially if you tip properly. You may not be able to afford to have your food delivered to you all the time. That’s OK, but that means you have to make other arrangements to eat.
    You’re paying for food AND the convenience of having it delivered. If you want to spend just $3 on your Taco Bell, go to the drive-thru. If you want someone to bring it to you, you’re going to pay a fee and taxes. Neither of which includes your driver’s tip. I received an order that a customer called me trying to cancel because she “didn’t know all those fees were associated with it.”
    When you go in a restaurant, its customary to tip your server 15–20%, there’s no way to justify inadequately tipping someone who drove to the restaurant, went in the restaurant, retrieved your food, got back in their car, drove to your house and delivered your food to your doorstep.
    Is it taking a long time for a Dasher to be assigned to your order? If you didn’t tip, that’s the likely cause. There is a consensus among drivers to deny orders without tips. By the time your order does get accepted, it is usually bundled with another one from that same restaurant or one close by. So, after your food has been sitting for 30 minutes because no one will deliver your food for $3.75, it may spend another 30 minutes in someone’s car while they deliver multiple orders.
    The thing that’s different about delivery service is, the driver knows your tip before hand and that determines what kind of service you get.
    “What if I have a cash tip?” We can’t accept your order on the off chance you’ll give us a $20 when we get to your house. Those are few and far between. We even call those unicorns. We have to assume that there is no tip if there isn’t one shown on the order initially.
    “DoorDash needs to pay better.” Damn right they do, but in the mean time, do you want your food or nah? The fact that customers have to tip service at all is rooted in a very oppressive system. Do it anyway. You knew how the system worked when you ordered your food. If you don’t adequately tip your dasher up front, it will take longer to get your food, if you get it at all.

Whew, I’m glad I got that off my chest. I know that this list is a lot, but so is having someone delivering meals to multiple people’s door steps (during a pandemic). If any of this seems unreasonable, go get your own damn food.